Laws for the protection of fascist honour

 

Satire

22 december 2007

 
Laws for the Protection of German Blood and German Honour
 
Laws for the Protection of the Islamic Religion and Maldive Honour

Entirely convinced that the purity of German blood is essential to the further existence of the German people, and inspired by the uncompromising determination to safeguard the future of the German nation, the Reichstag has unanimously resolved upon the following law, which is promulgated herewith:   Entirely convinced that the purity of and enforced adherence to the Islamic Religion is essential to the further existence of the Maldive people, and inspired by the uncompromising determination to safeguard the future of the Maldive nation, the Reichjitungemajlis has unanimously resolved upon the following laws, which are either already in place or have been enacted for ratification by the Reichsuljumhourija

Section 1
  1. Marriages between Jews and citizens of German or kindred blood are forbidden. Marriages concluded in defiance of this law are void, even if, for the purpose of evading this law, they were concluded abroad.
  2. Proceedings for annulment may be initiated only by the Public Prosecutor.
 

Law 1

A citizen of the Maldive Ummah (Motherland) shall be:

  1. any person who is born of or to a citizen of the Maldive Ummah and
  2. any other Muslim man or woman naturalised as a citizen of the Maldive Ummah according to Law.

Section 2

Extramarital intercourse between Jews and subjects of the state of German or related blood is forbidden.

 

Law 2

Whereas the vilest of animals in Allah's sight are those who disbelieve, therefore notwithstanding Law 1, whosoever amongst Maldivians that apostatises by renouncing the Islamic Religion shall be denaturalised and be deemed homo sacer.


Section 3

Jews will not be permitted to employ female citizens of German or kindred blood as domestic workers under the age of 45.

 

Law 3

A person who has been denaturalised and deemed to be homo sacer shall be ordered to return to the fold of the Islamic religion. If such a najis (excremental) person prevails in his or her state of apostasy after three such orders, he or she shall be eliminated and committed to Allah's Hell by severing his or her head by the neck with a dagger.


Section 4
  1. Jews are forbidden to display the Reich and national flag or the national colours.
  2. On the other hand they are permitted to display the Jewish colours. The exercise of this right is protected by the State.
 

Law 4

  1. Marriage between male Islamic citizens of the Maldive Ummah and najis Christian and najis Jewish females is permitted when performed by an Islamic mullah within the territory of the Ummah.
  2. Marriage between male Islamic citizens of the Maldive Ummah and najis infidels other than the two categories of infidels mentioned in section 1 of this Law is totally forbidden

Section 5
  1. A person who acts contrary to the prohibition of Section 1 will be punished with hard labour.
  2. A person who acts contrary to the prohibition of Section 2 will be punished with imprisonment or with hard labour.
  3. A person who acts contrary to the provisions of Sections 3 or 4 will be punished with imprisonment up to a year and with a fine, or with one of these penalties.
 

Law 5

Marriage between female Islamic citizens of the Maldive Ummah and najis infidels, be they Christian, Jew or other najis person, is totally forbidden until:

  1. the said najis person reverts to Islam and waits for a probationary period of not less than six calendar months; and
  2. having reverted to Islam the ex-najis infidel then changes his name on his passport by application to his najis government, as long as that government is not the government of the so called State of Israel or the government of the so called Vatican City State.

Section 6

The Reich Minister of the Interior in agreement with the Deputy Führer and the Reich Minister of Justice will issue the legal and administrative regulations required for the enforcement and supplementing of this law.

 

Law 6

The new names of reverted ex-najis-infidels must be Arabic or Farsi or Urdu names or names of such other languages that may from time to time be deemed as Islamic by the Supreme Reichsmajlis for Islam in the Maldive Ummah. The Divehi language of the Maldives shall always remain najis and will never be deemed to be Islamic for the purposes of this Law.


Section 7

The law will become effective on the day after its promulgation; Section 3, however, not until 1 January 1936.

Law 7

Extramarital sex is permitted between male Islamic citizens of the Maldive Ummah and najis infidel women who are captured in any act of jihad. The consent of such najis women are not required for such sexual act, which may, if required, be conducted in the presence of the najis husbands of these najis women.


Promulgated under our hands this the Fifteenth day of September One Thousand Nine Hundred and Thirty Five at Nuremburg at the Reich Party Congress of Freedom   Promulgated under my hand this the Nineteenth day of December (in lieu of our clumsy Islamic calendar) in the Year of the Christian Lord Two Thousand and Seven at Malé.

Führer and Reich Chancellor Adolf Hitler
Reich Minister of the Interior Frick
  Zaiim and Reichsuljumhourija Abdulla Maumoon

After the promulgation of the Laws for the Protection of German Blood and German Honour, Adolf Hitler received telegrams of congratulation from all over the Arab and Muslim world   After the promulgation and full implementation of the Laws for the Protection of the Islamic Religion and Maldive Honour, Abdulla Maumoon Abdul Gayoom is expected to receive electronic mails of congratulation from all over the Arab and Muslim world

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